CALIFORNIA DREAMING?

I arrived back to Newport Beach this weekend; i’m here on a scholarship year for the second year of my Philosophy degree. Before I came back, I felt very strange: no clear emotion, and no clear jumble of emotions. If you asked me how I felt I would have either come across as insouciant or stupid (probably stupid). The philosopher in me thinks it is because I was caught between the objective ‘this is an amazing opportunity’ and the subjective ‘amazing or not, I want to be with my family, my friends and my dogs...okay, mostly just my dogs'.

Surprisingly, when I arrived I felt very upbeat. Last term was completely overwhelming. As well as moving to a place I knew nothing of and no-one in, I pushed myself more than I ever have done with work and had only virtual access to the people I lean on. More importantly, I had no access to the most important ones; my dogs Jasper and Oscar. No mum, the boys cannot understand me when you put your phone to their ears. Ahem, so yes, arriving here was actually rather nice. I have an apartment set up, know the area, have some friends and will have more free time...and the weather is lovely (I’m not going to lie, the lovely weather is enough for the time-being).

So disregard my philosophical theory. The truth of the matter is that after Christmas and New Year with little or no sunlight, I had become a walking cheeseboard and really couldn’t be bothered hauling myself up from the dent I had made in the sofa, putting some effort in to organising my life, and returning back to reality. But like exercise, it’s one of those things that instantly makes you feel better once you’ve done it. And what better way to kick start my ‘New Year, New Me’ plans than coming to Orange County, land of the toned and radiant! I could never live here permanently, but for one year I think the least I can do is focus on what it has rather than what it lacks. In light of that, I'm going to become 'one of them'*

*Whilst still retaining my Britishness i.e. not developing a grating and transparent optimism, a desolate vacuousness, or a tendency to think that my tanned, toned and muscled physique is a fair substitute for a substantive personality. As you can see, there is a definite tension between Orange County and me-expect posts of a bi-polar nature.